By Deborah Longmore | Newborn Photographer | Birmingham & Beyond
Dummies. Breastfeeding. Formula. Co-sleeping. Sleep training. Routines. No routines. Screens or no screens?! 😩 Advice for new mums, yes please!
If your head is spinning with advice — some helpful, some confusing, and some downright conflicting — you’re not alone. I see it every single day in my studio. And I’m writing this blog not as a health visitor, doctor, or midwife, but as a mum of two and a newborn photographer who chats with new parents daily.
And I get it. Truly.
The Overwhelm Is Real
In just the past two weeks, I’ve photographed some incredible new mums. Strong, successful, smart women… all adjusting to the wild ride of motherhood.
And wow — they’re frazzled. Completely wiped. And carrying so much pressure.
Here’s what I’ve heard recently:
💬 “What if I can’t carry on breastfeeding as long as I’m supposed to?”
This mum had just been hospitalised for severe mastitis.
💬 “Every time I try to put baby down at night, they wake up instantly. I’m running on 2 hours of sleep.”
💬 “If I give a dummy, will it mess up their speech or make them addicted to it forever?”
Sound familiar?
My Story (Spoiler: It’s Messy Too)
In 2009, I was right there too. Totally overwhelmed by the choices, the expectations, the guilt.
A Personal Journey: How a Newborn Screening Test Saved My Baby’s Life
When my son was born at Birmingham Women’s Hospital, we never imagined how quickly things could change. Shortly after birth, he became very unwell and was placed in an incubator for a week, nil by mouth. What we didn’t know at the time was that he would have likely become a victim of cot death (SIDS) if we had been sent home. Thankfully, the hospital was trialling a pulse oximetry test for newborns — a simple but life-saving screening that detected an issue early. It quite literally saved his life.
After a week in neonatal care, he still couldn’t latch to breastfeed, and I spent the next 8 weeks exclusively expressing breast milk while we worked on feeding. It was an incredibly emotional, exhausting time — but it also shaped my deep empathy for new parents navigating the NICU, breastfeeding challenges, and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a fragile newborn.
One midwife told me I should stop being so hard on myself and move to formula. It was one of the hardest, most emotional experiences of my life — but I’m so grateful every day for that early intervention. The relief. Did it harm him? Nope. He’s a strong-willed, moody teenager who is taller than me!
👶 I was not a fan of dummies. I never wanted to use them, However, whilst my son was in the incubator he needed to comfort suck and the nurses suggested a dummy would keep him happy. It actually saved my sanity when I couldnt immediately feed him and he was kicking up a fuss. He then only used it at nap times until he was 1 year old and we took him to Ash End Farm to give the dummy to the baby pigs! Babies need to comfort suck, they are not always hungry!
😴 I also fought the “sleeping in the Moses basket” thing. Constantly checking on him during the night to see if he was still breathing whilst he slept like a log!
📆 Routines? Yep, I was all in. But I quickly realised they’re not gospel. With my second baby, I learned to go with the flow. Bedtime routines? Great. Skipping a nap for a day out with friends? Also great. The world didn’t end.
📱 Screens — yes, even with babies — come up often in my studio chats. We’re the first generation of parents trying to navigate digital life from the start. I’ve been super strict, but I’ve also learned that balance matters more than perfection.
What I Want You to Know – Advice for New Mums ❤️
To every new parent feeling overwhelmed:
You are not alone.
There is no “right” way to raise a baby. There’s just your way — what works for your baby, your life, your family.
Every baby is different, and I see this daily in my job, believe me!
You are doing beautifully. The fact that you’re even worrying about making the right choices proves how deeply you care.
And honestly?
👉 That’s all your baby needs. Love. Presence. You.
So breathe. Trust yourself. And if you need someone to remind you how incredible you are — I’ve got you.
With love,
Debbie x
Newborn Photographer | Mum | Fellow Survivor of the Newborn Fog
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